like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
