i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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