whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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