just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
