alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
