no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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