Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
