Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
