Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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