need another drink. this is the easiest way
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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