If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
