i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
