I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
