At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
soo... how was my night?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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