ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
