I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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