I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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