So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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