If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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