The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
