she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize