booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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