awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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