I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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