Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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