so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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