its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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