you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You are a genius and a whore.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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