I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
