hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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