I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
