the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dear god my vagina.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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