At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
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At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize