Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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