So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
