You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
