Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You need Xanax blowdarts
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
