Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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