I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
