I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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