best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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