Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
