If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
