How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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