remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
