Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
