I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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