so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
