That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
