D3 body, D1 cock
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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