I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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