You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
