Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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