Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
