do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
this hospital has no fireball
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
